literature

Thoughts in The Night - Eddie

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Eddie walked into his apartment and slumped onto the couch.  The banquet had gone very well, until he came face to face with Laurie.  God, she looked just like Sally when she was that age!   And she had her mother's temper too.  She brought up the attempted rape and threw her drink in his face.  The blue man took her away shortly after that.  He never got a chance to explain to her.  Never got to tell her the truth.

Yeah, he had once attempted to rape Sally.  But he couldn't help himself.  He was young, pig-headed, and absolutely crazy for the woman.  The only difference between then and now was that he was no longer young.  And in his older years he knew that his only regret was losing Sally.  Can you actually lose someone you never had?

Well, technically, he “had” her for one night.  What-his-name...Larry was out of town.  It seemed that he and Sally had some kind of argument just before he left “on business”.  She called Eddie up and he came over.  He hadn't intended on anything to happen.  He hadn't even tried to touch her since that one day.  But she seemed so sad, so lonely.  Apparently, it was only a marriage of convenience(though he couldn't tell whose).  Larry rarely touched her.  Never told her that he loved her.

“What if I told you that I loved you,” He'd asked her.

She gave a sad little laugh, and halfheartedly slapped him on the arm.  “Oh, Eddie.  Don't tease me like that.”

He pulled her to him.  “I'm not teasing, baby.”  He gently stroked her hair and felt her relax into him.  He wanted her so badly, but didn't dare make a move.  He didn't want to do anything that'd drive her away.  But she was the one who initiated the kiss.  Things progressed quickly from there.  It wasn't the hot and heavy action of other girls he'd been with.  It wasn't the desperate need of that day he'd never live down.  It was gentle and loving and like nothing he experienced before or since.  Afterwards, they fell asleep in each other's arms.  For once in his life, Eddie felt truly happy.

Then it all fell apart.  The next morning, Sally went on a guilt trip and accused him of taking advantage of her.  She was in tears as she threw his clothes at him and he barely had time to dress before she kicked him out of the house.  He didn't see her for another three years.  And when he did, she had a small girl with her.  A girl with the same colored eyes as her mother.  A pretty little girl named Laurel Jane.   A little girl that could have been his, if things had turned out better.

“You and Larry must be very happy,” he said, trying not to let the pain show.

“Larry is not happy at all,” Sally growled.

“But she's such a pretty little thing.  How could he not be happy?”

“Because she's not his,” she hissed.  At his confused look, she added, “is that hair color mine?  Or Larry's?  No.”

Her hair color?  He looked at the child again.  Reddish brown hair.  Like....his.  His.  He looked at Sally in surprised.  She barked a laugh.  “Yes, she's yours, Eddie.”  He felt joy and pride swell up in his chest.  That little girl was his!  “That's the price of my mistake.”

Eddie felt his heart drop into his stomach at those words.  She thought that night was a mistake?  She thought the child they created was a mistake?  Those words cut deeply into him.  Words that came back often.  On a night many years later, he'd look at a woman in 'Nam who was carrying his child and think “it's a mistake” before shooting the woman dead.  A mistake, like all the other mistakes he had made in his messed up life.

But she wasn't a mistake.  No, his little girl would never be a mistake.  He couldn't love a mistake and he loved Laurie as much as he loved her mother.  But he'd never be able to tell her that.  He'd never be able to tell Laurie that she was his and that she meant everything to him.  No.  Not when she hated him so much.  They'd all go to their graves without her ever knowing the truth.  The truth would probably only cause her more pain.  And he couldn't bear to cause his baby girl pain.  Eddie sighed.

He needed a drink.
I'm not exactly pleased with this chapter, but it's not easy to write Eddie in a sympathetic way.
© 2015 - 2024 ryouko70
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ZappOBrien's avatar
I think you did a great job with Eddie, to be honest. I'm obviously a big fan of his, and your story shared a lot with my own personal headcanons involving him. Seriously, this was great! The thing about Eddie, to me, is that he isn't sympathetic, or shouldn't be. He's an awful person, rarely shows any sympathetic traits.
But whenever he does, they're so heartbreaking, they nearly kill me. I love how he's a conflict in and of himself, and how awful he is and how sad he is and...I'd better slow down before I get carried away.